On the recommendation of a friend, I’ve been reading, “The Virtual Handshake” by David Tetten and Scott Allen.  It’s an interesting mix of research into online networking and practical steps to improve your online networking experience.

They suggest that how you build relationships has not changed since the days of networking via face-to-face and email.  What’s changed is the medium in which you network - now it’s primarily the web. I think that while the web is important, it’s primary purpose is to enhance your face-to-face networking, not replace it.

The book focuses on their 7 keys to building and maintaining an effective online network.  I think these steps would be just as applicable in building an effective in-person network.

• Your Character - what other people think about you.  It’s your reputation
• Competence - do you walk your talk?
• Relevance - how relevant is your network to your networking goals?
• Relationship strengths - how strong is your tie to the people in your network?
• Information you know about the people in your network - parallel to the strength of your ties is how much non-published information do you know about the people in your network?
• Number of people in your network - both your direct and two-degrees-away network
• Diversity - the more heterogeneous your network the better it can help you

The authors believe that social networking software allows you to have the best of both worlds, a large quantity of high-quality connections.  While I don’t agree with this sentiment, as I wrote here, I do concur with their sentiments that successful networkers focus on what they can give you and not what you can give them.

All in all, a good book to read.  Especially if you are looking for a how-to book on building a sustainable and positive online presence.

A buddy of mine joined a small company as a sales rep. They hired him because of his experience in the industry and his rolodex. So then he uploads his contacts to their CRM system and the marketing department comes down on him. “Where did you get those names?” “Didn’t you read the employment agreement?” “Take those names out!” were all comments ringing in his ears.

“What’s their problem?” he asks me. I’m thinking it’s the age old battle of defining what constitutes a lead. Marketing considers those contacts to be leads but Sales considers them to be nothing more than names. One group finds value in just the names and the other does not. This is the same battle that companies wage when a sale rep leaves and management tries to make sure the contacts don’t go with the rep.

It’s the combination of my buddy’s industry experience, the rolodex and his relationship with those contacts that makes those names valuable. The rolodex without the relationship is nothing more than the yellow pages suitable for spamming.

So let the rep come/leave with names. In today’s world, those names can be found anywhere on the web so there’s no trade secrets or IP attached to them. What’s valuable is the relationship to those names. And that’s why my buddy got hired, because of his relationships.

With the rise of various social networking sites like LinkedIn and Facebook, the promise of easy and immediate connections seems realized. I connect to you, you connect to them and since I can see that connection, I want to get connected to them, too. Bingo, I have a prospect! The problem is that it’s too easy and therefore not really that valuable for business networking.

The names of my contacts are not valuable - there a lots of places where someone else can find those names - JigSaw, LinkedIn, Hoovers, Spoke, the Yellow Pages, industry trade organizations to name a few. What’s valuable is my relationship to them. I’ve earned that relationship and it’s valuable.

Jay Deragon, in his The Relationship Economy blog, posted recently about whether Relationships are for $ale. He argues that, “You don’t sell relationships you build and earn them.” I’d suggest that you can’t buy relationships, either. Certainly not valuable ones.

Jay continues to say, “Sales techniques have changed over time to meet the ever increasing demands from informed customers. It has become imperative in today’s business environment to gain the trust of prospects and customers by first focusing on building relationships based on common affinities and objectives.”

And thus easy access to names can’t be the easy way to generate sales.

So if that’s not the easy way, then what is? As Jay points out, “People aren’t for sale (although many act as if they are) and neither are their relationships.” Valuable relationships are not put up on the web for all to see. Rather, they’re kept secure and hidden behind walls and only let out when there’s a very good reason.

What’s a good reason to let a valuable relationship be known? When you meet another sales rep you believe can add value to your customer. And by adding value to your customer, you’ve added value and trust to your relationship with that customer. You won’t sell that relationship because if your customer finds out, your trust is lost. But you have built a new relationship with that sales rep that translates to them introducing you to one of their customers. And then they gain value, too.

That’s what Inquisix is all about - we keep your RELATIONSHIP with contacts safe and hidden while introducing you to like-minded sales people who understand that relationships are earned, not sold or bought. Who agrees with me?

Happy Selling!